Spiritual Misfit: A Memoir of Uneasy Faith by Michelle DeRusha
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
This book was thoroughly written. If you don't have the patience for laborious, detailed back stories, this probably isn't the book for you. The wordage, the stories told, the humor of the book make this a generalized Christian book for women. Not to say that means it's bad, just not male friendly. After struggling through the first 100 pages (which probably could have been condensed to 20 pages), I really enjoyed the journey the author took to find her belief in God. Her struggles through every day things - rude people at the grocery store or picture perfect playground moms - are things that we have all felt. Where do these things fit into God's plan for us? How does He use these things to mold us into Christians? The answers aren't in this book. This is the answer DeRusha provides, an answer that is probably a proclamation of every Doubting Thomas.
"I've come to realize the opposite should be true: I should not have it all figured out. And if I think I do, I should take that as a red flag because it probably means I have crafted a God of my own design, a God whom I can control. Living the questions and relinquishing control is so much more challenging than fashioning a God who is entirely fathomable and comprehensible. But living the questions is also more real - a truer, more honest approach to discovering and nurturing a relationship with God." (page 216)
Summary: I decided to admit once and for all that I didn’t know what I was doing, what I thought, what I believed, even sometimes if I truly believed. I would tell the truth: I wasn’t like them; I didn’t fit in. I wasn’t a proper Christian. I didn’t have it all together like they did. Why not, I figured? What in the world did I have to lose?
After twenty years of unbelief, estranged from her childhood faith and ultimately from God, Michelle DeRusha unexpectedly found herself wrestling hard with questions of spirituality— and deeply frustrated by the lack of clear answers.
Until she realized that the questions themselves paved a way for faith.
“Declaring my unbelief,” writes DeRusha, “was the first step; declaring my unbelief allowed me to begin to seek authentically.”
Spiritual Misfit chronicles one woman’s journey toward an understanding that belief and doubt can coexist. This poignant and startlingly candid memoir reveals how being honest about our questions, our fears, and our discomfort with black-and-white definitions of faith can move us toward an authentic and a deepening relationship with God.
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